I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Black

February 20, 2018

 

We’re in a time where tradition is constantly being challenged.Whether that be along the lines of religion, clothes, politics, which bathroom to use, education and even who can wear makeup.


If you ask your grandparents about how things were back in the day, the answer is always cut and dry with no exceptions - especially when it comes to marriage.


Women in the 50s through the 80s looked forward to getting married and saw it as the ultimate goal. 
In reference to Millennials and Generation Z, we’re no longer like this. 


Between myself and other women I’ve gotten close to, there are old expectations we no longer want to be held to. 


We’re breaking away from fulfilling old “wifely duties” and striving to be financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually sound before we intertwine our lives with another person’s. 


Since we’re branching off of the old “damsel in distress” bride who needs her husband’s paycheck to go get her hair done once the housework is done, what else could this entail? The last name. 


I recently started considering this because my boyfriend brought up marriage and oddly enough, the thought of walking around with his last name kind of annoyed me.


I immediately asked him if he would take mine and instead of saying yes or no he asks me if I would be down to hyphenate our last names. 


No thanks. His last name is Long and my last name is Black… I will not do that to our kids, if we ever have any.


Let me break it down for you. Just because all/majority of men who get married share a last name with their wife, does not mean that’s the way it has to be! 


It’s not a law that women take the name of her husband. The majority of people who get married, 40 to 50 percent to be exact, get a divorce as well. 


And that’s another reason millennials don’t want to get married. 


Take my mom for example, she’s been divorced for 13 years and still has my dad’s last name. 
She has her reasons but, either way, she absolutely hates it. 


Personally, I’m going to bring meaning to my family name and I don’t want my future husband to take that away from me. 


I don’t want to make my last name mean something to my tribe and family just to transfer all of my hard work to my husband’s family who, 9 times out of 10, didn’t help me get the recognition I have/will have.


The women who I’ve discussed this with feel the same way.Our mindset is different than women did in the 70s.

 
We’re working just as hard as men these days and sometimes even putting more bread on the table, our last name should carry as much meaning as a man’s. 


Why are men still stuck? I’m not trying to make anyone feel inferior but come on, you can’t expect me to be so quick to change my last name if you wouldn’t immediately be okay with taking mine.     

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